` God completes me

2008-09-27T07:49:00.000-07:00

never stopped or never will

2008-09-15T07:10:00.000-07:00

I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without you
But in reality I'm slowly loosing my mind

If I were a builder
Then you'd have a castle
To rival the highest mountain
And if I were a billionaire
I'd give you every material thing
But unfortunately all I have to give to you
Is an imperfect heart
But it's a heart that beats only for you

[Chorus:]
Listen to this girl if you give me one shot
I will love you forever now
No man will do you better now
Love is a risk
But if you give me one shot
I will show you your the only girl
In the world who can
Give me this feeling
Baby, that's how I feel about you
Your one in a million
I'd rather die than live without you
We can't miss
So if you give me one shot
We can do it girl {we can do it girl} do it girl

[Verse 2:]
I'm talkin' 'bout love in the mornin'
Just like you want it
Anything you need you can call me for it
Now girl I'm only human
I'm full of many faults
I'm guaranteed to fall short (guaranteed to fall)
But you'll never hear about me cheating
Cause I never would betray your trust
No matter what
I will look to you and only you for love
I treat your soul like it was mine
What a privilege to me to breathe your air
Doesn't that say that I care?

[Chorus:]
Listen to this girl if you give me one shot
I will love you forever now
No man will do you better now
Love is a risk
But if you give me one shot
I will show you your the only girl
In the world who can
Give me this feeling
Baby, that's how I feel about you
Your one in a million
I'd rather die than live without you
We can't miss
So if you give me one shot
We can do it girl {do it girl} do it girl

[Bridge:]
I'm talkin' all my heart
All my soul
Always stay
Never go
Ohhh yeah
But unfortunately all I have to give to you
Is an imperfect heart
But it's a heart that beats only for you

[Chorus:]
Listen to this girl if you give me one shot
I will love you forever now
No man will do you better now
Love is a risk
But if you give me one shot
I will show you your the only girl
In the world who can
Give me this feeling
Baby, that's how I feel about you
Your one in a million
I'd rather die than live without you
We can't miss
So if you give me one shot
We can do it girl {do it girl} do it girl

I'm talkin' 'bout everyday
Every night
The rest of your days
The rest of your life

[Chorus:]
Listen to this girl if you give me one shot
I will love you forever now
No man will do you better now
Love is a risk
But if you give me one shot
I will show you your the only girl
In the world who can
Give me this feeling
Baby, that's how I feel about you
Your one in a million
I'd rather die than live without you
We can't miss
So if you give me one shot
We can do it girl {do it girl} do it girl

breakdown

2008-09-11T05:43:00.000-07:00

You called yesterday to basically say

That you care for me but that you're just not in love

Imediately I pretended to be feeling similarly

And led you to believe I was OK

to just walk away from the thing

That's unyielding and sacred to me

Well I guess I'm trying to be nonchalant about it
And I'm going to extremes to prove I'm fine without ya
But in reality I'm slowly loosing my mind
Underneath disguise of smile gradually I'm dying inside
Friends ask me how I feel and I lie convincingly
Cause I don't want to reveal that fact that I'm suffering
so i wear my disguise till i go home at night
turn down all the lights and then break down and cry

So what do you do when somebody you're devoted to

Suddenly just stops loving you and it seems they haven't
got a clue

Of the pain that rejection is putting you through

Do you cling to your pride and sing "I will survive"

Do you lash out and say: "How dare you leave this way"

Do you hold on in vain as they just slip away

Everyone's got to face down the demons

2008-03-05T06:23:00.000-08:00

Old Ghosts In My Corridors
Never Get Tired Of Haunting The Past That's In Me

finally updating my blog after a very long time so yah
just a topic that got into me

its true that we have done something that we aint to proud to share with anyone what happens if someone finds out abt it and make a big issue out of it?
kinda suckie isnt it but anyway leavin it aside.

i need a job now so anyone do get back to get back to me if u know any thanks

i love jesus christ :D

2008-03-04T07:36:00.000-08:00

Mary, did you know
That your baby boy
Would someday walk on water?
Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Will save our sons and daughters?
Did you know
That your baby boy
Has come to make you new?
This child that you've delivered
Will soon deliver you.

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Will give sight to a blind man?
Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Will calm the storm with his hand?
Did you know that your baby boy
Has walked where angels trod?
When you kiss your little baby
You've kissed the face of God.
The blind will see
The deaf will hear
The dead will live again
The lame will leap
The dumb will speak
The praises of the Lamb

Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Is Lord of all creation?
Mary did you know
That your baby boy
Will one day rule the nations?
Did you know
That your baby boy
Is heaven's perfect Lamb?
This sleeping child you're holding
Is the Great I Am

find me a girl like this

2008-02-05T08:32:00.001-08:00

reality check!!!

2008-01-19T06:52:00.000-08:00

Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
That I sometimes cry
If I could pretend that I'm asleep
When my tears start to fall
I peek out from behind these walls
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows no

Nobody likes
Nobody likes to lose their inner voice
The one I used to hear before my life
Made a choice
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows
No

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
I think nobody knows no
I said nobody knows
Nobody cares

It's win or lose not how you play the game
And the road to darkness has a way
Of always knowing my name
But I think nobody knows
No no
Nobody knows no no no no

Baby
Oh the secret's safe with me
There's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like I'm all alone
Who's gonna be there after the last angel has flown
And I've lost my way back home
And oh no no no no
Nobody knows
No no no no no no

Tomorrow I'll be there my friend
I'll wake up and start all over again
When everybody else is gone
No no no

Nobody knows
Nobody knows the rhythem of my heart
The way I do when I'm lying in the dark
And the world is asleep
I think nobody knows
Nobody knows
Nobody knows but me
Me

2008-01-15T05:29:00.000-08:00

"Locked in, boxed in, full of fear
my panic grows manic, 'till I can't hear
in need of reprieve, so I can breathe
remove my fear please, make it leave"

let see whats happenin in my life everythin seems alright so far
waitin for enlistment so i guess need to start workin out if i dont wanna fail ny nafa test which i might. other then that everythin else seems preety alright not that much of problems infact there isnt any at the moment. so i guess its a good thing. recently been reading alot of books weird but yah can kill time and learn somethin from every novel i read. preety interesting to read actually i always thought it was a bore but guess what is no where near it. But at times the emoness is gettin to me but yah stayin positive does help alot in many ways.
some nightmare just cant go away that easily its a lesson learnt :D....

god must have spent alittle more time on u

2008-01-14T08:33:00.000-08:00

Yeah....
Oh yes
Ohhh..yeah..
Can this be true?
Tell me, can this be real?
How can I put into words what I feel?
My life was complete
I thought I was whole
Why do I feel like I'm losing control?
I never thought that love could feel like this
and you've changed my world with just one kiss.
How can it be that right here with me
there's an angel?
It's a miracle...

Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must have spent...
A little more time
On you...
(A little more time, yes he did baby)

In all of creation
All things great and small
You are the one that surpasses them all
More precious than
Any diamond or pearl
They broke the mold
When you came in this world
And I'm trying hard to figure out
Just how I ever did without
The warmth of your smile
The heart of a child
That's deep inside
Leaves me purified

Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep (and deep)
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must have spent...
A little more time
On you...
(on you, on you, on you, you....on you, on you, on you, you..) ohhh...
(on you, on you, on you, you....on you, on you, on you, you..) yeah...

Never thought that love could feel like this
and you changed my world with just one kiss.
How can it be that right here with me
There's an angel?
It's a miracle...

Your love is like a river
Peaceful and deep (peaceful and deep)
Your soul is like a secret
That I never could keep
When I look into your eyes
I know that it's true
God must have spent...
A little more time
On you...
(on you, on you, on you, you..)
God must have spent...
A little more time
on you
(on you, on you..you....you..oooh..yeah)
A little more time
on you...ohhh

2008-01-07T07:46:00.000-08:00

my work started at 11 and i got up 1.30pm gosh ahhaha my heart almost stopped man
hahha i got no idea hw i slept for so long but let see what happens on wednesday, what the old man say.. why must he be freakin racist la hahahah

2008-01-02T02:52:00.001-08:00

happy new year

2007-12-31T05:36:00.000-08:00

so fast the year is ending
so much have happen this year the up and of cox the downs
somehow this year made me look at life differently
at some point people do get reality check but this entire year been a reality check for me. even tho this year can be the worst is never the less the best one i had as well. let see wad tomorrow or the year ahead holds for me

anyway happy new year

2007-12-31T05:29:00.000-08:00

There's a boat, I could sail away
There's the sky, I could catch a plane
There's a train, there's the tracks
I could leave and I could choose to not come back
Oh never come back

There you are, giving up the fight
Here I am begging you to try
Talk to me, let me in
But you just put your wall back up again
Oh when's it gonna end

How far do I have to go to make you understand
I wanna make this work so much it hurts, but I just can't
Keep on giving, go on living with the way things are
So I'm gonna walk away
And it's up to you to say how far

There's a chance I could change my mind
But I won't, not till you decide
What you want, what you need
Do you even care if I stay or leave
Oh, what's it gonna be

got me thinkin as usual

2007-12-29T07:55:00.000-08:00

I wish you would step back
From that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand
The angry boy a bit too insane
Icing over a secret pain
You know you don't belong
You're the first to fight
You're way too loud
You're the flash of light on a burial shroud
I know something's wrong
Well everyone I know has got a reason
To say put the past away
I wish you would step back
From that ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand
Well he's on the table and he's gone to code
And I do not think anyone knows
What they're doing here
And your friends have left you
You've been dismissed
I never thought it would come to this
And I, I want you to know
Everyone's got to face down the demons
Maybe today
You could put the past away
I wish you would step back from
That ledge my friend
You could cut ties with all the lies
That you've been living in
And if you do not want to see me again
I would understand, I would understand
I would understand, I would understand
I would understand, I would understand
Can you put the past away

2007-12-26T04:19:00.000-08:00

BEING CAMERA SHY ON CHRISTMAS

its indeed been long since i blogged other then posting lyrics
been busy with work n stuff..
so much have happened in the past few months learn alot of things
now i know why adults say studyin is way much better then workin as well
and yah all the best to the twins man weifen and weiling at 15 they got a record deal and now acting in their first movie really proud of u guys :D
as for personal life everythin seem so perfect n i am freaking but finally its happening wanted a life with no curfew n stuff and i got it
i wanted money and now i am earning............
what else no more being called the emo boy cause i am not now, i am more then happy everyday. learn to accept things easily its true that everythin happens for a reason never believe in that before now i do. basically now i got no life till i get enlisted to ns for some reason just wanna enter asap just wanna get it over and done with. anyway had a really enjoyable christmas n of cox gifts thanks people appreciate it.

some pic of my family

love the fuckin sarcasm in this man

2007-12-15T23:32:00.000-08:00

I should've left it at, how ya doin'
I should've left it at
I like your music too, and
I should've never called you back
When you pursued me
I should've never given you
My fucking N two way
I should've never listened
To your woeful stories
The ones I'm sure you
Told a thousand times before me
You should've never intimated
We were lovers
When you know very well
We never even touched each other

Who's gonna love you when
It all falls down, and
Who's gonna love you when
Your bankroll runs out
Who's gonna care when the novelty's over
When the star of the
Show isn't you anymore
Nobody cares when the tears of a clown
Falls down...
Nobody cares when the tears of a clown
Falls down

I gotta break it to ya delicately,
Takin' my g5 twenty minutes wasn't nothin'
But I guess you wouldn't know
That's the way I roll
Consequently now your ego's fully
Overblown
You don't want the world to know
That you're just a puppet show
And the little girl inside
Often sits at home alone
And cries, cries, cries, cries
(Boo hoo. Who?)

Your pain is so deep rooted
What will your life become
Sure you hide it
But you're lost and lonesome
Still just a frail shook one

Who's gonna love you
When it all falls down, and
(Tell me who's gonna love you? Who? I'd like to know)
Who's gonna love you when
Your bankroll runs out
(If you didn't have nothing)
Who's gonna care when the novelty's over
(Who, who'd still be there)
When the star of the show isn't you anymore
(Nobody, nobody, nobody, oh)
Nobody cares when the tears of a clown
(There ain't nobody baby)
Falls down...

Who's gonna love you when it all falls down, and
(When the jokes on you)
Who's gonna love you when your bankroll runs out
(A marionette show)
Who's gonna care when the novelty's over
(Who's makin' you move though)
When the star of the show isn't you anymore
(I know what kills you slow)
Nobody cares when the tears of a clown
(I'm gonna keep your little)
Falls down
(Secret though, mmmm, hmmmm)
(And you know that I know)
Nobody cares when the tears of a clown
Fall down...
(I guess your mamma never told you that what goes around comes around. Pow)

:D

2007-12-14T07:25:00.001-08:00

So if you're mad get mad
Don’t hold it all inside
Come on and talk to me now
Hey, what you got to hide
I get angry too
Well I’m a lot like you

when two singers break up this is what happens

2007-12-11T06:53:00.000-08:00

See, I dont know why I liked you so much
I gave you all, of my trust
I told you, I loved you, now thats all down the drain
Ya put me through pain, I wanna let u know how I feel

[Chorus:]
Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses, they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah

Oh oh
Oooh
No no no

(You know there is two sides to every story)

See I don't know why you cryin' like a bitch
Talkin' shit like a snitch
Why you write a song 'bout me
If you really didn't care
You wouldn't wanna share
Tellin' everybody just how you feel

Fuck what I did was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jack
Well guess what yo, fuck you right back

Fuck what I did was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jack
Fuck you,you hoe, fuck you right back.

[Verse 2:]
You thought, you could
Keep this shit from me, yeah
Ya burnt bitch, I heard the story
Ya played me, ya even gave him head
Now ya askin for me back
Ya just another act, look elsewhere
Cuz ya done with me

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, I dont want you back

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, fuck you right back!.

Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah
Oh oh
Uh huh yeah

You thought you could really make me moan
I had better sex all alone (ha ha ha ha)
I had to turn to your friend
Now you want me to come back
You must be smokin' crack
Im goin' else where and thats a fact

You questioned did I care
Maybe I would have if you woulda gone down there
Now it's over
But I do admit i'm glad I didn't catch your crabs
I can't sweat that cause I got to go

Fuck what I did was your fault somehow
Fuck the presents, I threw all that shit out
Fuck all the cryin' it didn't mean jack
fuck you ,you hoe, fuck you right back.

Whoa whoa
Uh uh yea

Whoa whoa
Uh uh yea

Whoa whoa
Uh uh yea

Whoa whoa
Uh uh yea

Fuck what I said it dont mean shit now
Fuck the presents might as well throw em out
Fuck all those kisses they didn't mean jack
Fuck you, you hoe, fuck you right back!.

[x2] Whoa whoa
Uh uh yea

Whoa whoa
Uh uh yea

Whoa whoa
Uh uh yea

Whoa whoa
Uh uh yea
(you made me do this)

the pic speaks for itself

2007-12-09T22:44:00.000-08:00

the tattoo is somethin i will get soon :D

emo post alert hahahha

2007-12-04T08:26:00.000-08:00

i barely had enough sleep for the past few weeks n adult life isnt that fantasic either... i need sleep man schoolin life is much better :D

i wonder how some people can be hurt so much and in time they become immune to alot of things.. and learn to give up on many things as well somehow i am heading towards the path.

sometimes i hate past memories
if only i can go back 15 years n change everything that ever happen

one more thing i seriously regret doin so many unwanted things n causing so much problems not only to me but to others as well. but again mistakes are to be done to learn from it i guess, no one is perfect

finally i seriously learn to give up on many things :D

u know me and i know you that is all that counts

2007-11-23T04:58:00.000-08:00

finally got time to blog
been really busy with work and for sure my leg hurts like hell
so much drink recipes to remember n that sucks but can tahan for the pay
life been really fun n enjoyable nothin else to say. what else can i say i love life :D

when my life is written as a song

2007-11-14T21:40:00.000-08:00

I was wayward child
With the weight of the world
That I held deep inside
Life was a winding road
And I learned many things
Little ones shouldn't know

But I closed my eyes
Steadied my feet on the ground
Raised my head to the sky
And though time's rolled by
Still feel like a child
As I look at the moon
Maybe I grew up
A little too soon

Funny how one can learn
To grow numb to the madness
And block it away
I left the worst unsaid
Let it all dissipate
And I try to forget

Nearing the edge
Obvious I almost
Fell right over
A part of me
Will never be quite able
To feel stable
That men-child falling inside
Was on the verge of fading
Thankfully I
Woke up in time

Guardian angel I
Sail away on an ocean
With you by my side
Orange clouds roll by
They burn into your image
And you're still alive

somethin i learned

2007-11-14T07:40:00.000-08:00

met mini today after very long time we ate the indian rojak was freakin full till prema decided to make me eat more thanks ah prema.... ok goin back to me and mini talkin for god knows 4 hours we didn't realise the time under the block n swing hahah actually time runs really fast lol. she said this actually made sense
a normal friend a guy and a gal can talk abt anything n everything what keeps them apart is the romancing which can be done once u given yourself the attach thingy together hahah true ah lol........yah at times is true sometime somethings are meant
to be kept to yourself :D

i love life indeed i do

2007-11-11T06:51:00.000-08:00

i believe i can say i am busy with work n home
all for sure helpes me get alot of things out of my head and i like it
i totally feel foolish at the begining of the year till like last month but a very good lecture from my elder sister made me realise alot. now i am happy no emoness my sad days are gone. people in work r great esp my manger more like a friend dean makes things easier for me not those normal manager u come across like naggy n bossy he is indeed really different n he is full of crap most of the time. the other staffs are equally friendly not suprising that i am the only indian in the stall but those malays down there really fun bunch of ppl. so what else i'm earning money now feels good knowning that i am supportin myself can't wait for my first month pay whereby i will get back my hp line back n get connected to the world again..
this time i am for sure ppl i have changed trust me on that :D

love this song
fighter

After all you put me through
You'd think I'd despise you
But in the end
I wanna thank you 'cause you made that much stronger
Well I thought I knew you, thinkin' that you were true
Guess I, I couldn't trust called your bluff time is up
'Cause I've had enough
You were there by my side, always down for the ride
But your joy ride just came down in flames
Cause your greed sold me out in shame
Cause if it wasn't for all that you tried to do, I wouldn't know
Just how capable I am to pull through
So I wanna say thank you
Cause it
Makes me that much stronger
Makes me work a little bit harder
It makes me that much wiser
So thanks for making me a fighter
Made me learn a little bit faster
Made my skin a little bit thicker
Makes me that much smarter
So thanks for making me a fighter
I heard you're goin' round playin',the victim now
But don't even begin feeling I'm the one to blame
'Cause you dug your own grave
After all of the fights and the lies 'cause you're wanting to haunt me
But that won't work anymore, no more, no no
It's over
Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture
I wouldn't know how to be this way now and never back down
So I wanna say thank you
I am a fighter and I
I ain't goin' stop
There is no turning back
I've had enough

faith

2007-11-09T22:32:00.000-08:00

I've Still Got A Lot To Learn
But, At Least I Know Where I Can Turn
When I'm In My Times Of Need
Just As Long
As I Know All Things Are Possible
Just As Long As I Believe

I've Loved A Lot, Hurt A Lot
Been Burned A Lot In My Life And Times
Spent Precious Years Wrapped Up In Fear
With No End In Sight
Until My Saving Grace Shined On Me
Until My Saving Grace Set Me Free

Giving Me Peace
Giving Me Strength When I'd
Almost Lost It All
Catching My Every Fall
I Still Exist Because You Keep Me Safe
I Found My Saving Grace Within You

Yes, I've Been Bruised
Grew Up Confused
Been Destitute
I've Seen Life From Many Sides
Been Stigmatized
Been Black And White
Felt Inferior Inside
Until My Saving Grace Shined On Me
Until My Saving Grace Set Me Free

And The Bountiful Things That You Do
Lord Thank You
For Delivering Me

GROW UP hahahahhaha

2007-11-06T06:23:00.001-08:00

GROW UP

2007-11-06T06:23:00.000-08:00

gonna be missed

2007-11-04T22:40:00.000-08:00

love this song

2007-11-04T08:23:00.002-08:00

Yo, Brotha A to z,
Yo, wussup B,
Yo, What time is it?

Ha-ha, It's laundry day!

(do do do...)

Well let the geek in the pink take a stab at it
If you like the way I'm thinkin' baby wink at it
I may be skinny at times but I'm fat for the rhymes
Pass me the mic and I'm a grab at it
Well isn't it delicious crazy way that I'm kissin'
This baby listen to this don't wanna miss it while it's hittin'
Sometimes you gotta fit in to get in
But don't ever quit cause soon I'm gonna let you in but see

I don't care what you might think about me
you'll get by without me if you want
Well,I could be the one to take you home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
But sugar don't forgetin' what you already know
That I could be the one to turn you on
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away

like the geek in the pink (do do do...)
well like the geek in the pink, yeah (geek in the pink)

Well my relationship fodder don't mean to bother nobody
But Cupid's automatic musta fired multiple shots at her
Because she fall in love too often that's what the matter
At least I talk about it keep a pattern of flattery and
She was starin' through the doorframe,and
Eyeing me down like already a bad boyfriend
Well she can get her toys outta the drawer then
Cause I ain't comin' home I don't need that attention, see

I don't care what she might think about me
She'll get by without me if she want
well, I could be the one to take her home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
But sugar don't forgetin' what you already know
that I could be the one to turn you on
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away

Hey baby look at me go
From zero to hero
You better take it from a geek like me
Well I can save you from unoriginal dum-dums
Who wouldn't care if you com....plete them or not

So what I've got a short attention span
A coke in my hand
Because I'd rather have the afternoon, relax and understand
My hip hop and flip-flops well it don't stop with the light rock
A shot to mock you kinda puts me in the tight spot
The hype is nothing more than hoo-ha so I'm
Developing a language and I'm callin' it my own
So take a peek into the speaker and you'll see what I mean
That on the other side the grass is greener

I don't care what you might think about me
You'll get by without me if you want
I could be the one to take you home
Baby we could rock the night alone
If we never get down it wouldn't be a let down
But sugar don't forgetin' what you already know
I could be the one to turn you on
We could be the talk across the town
Don't judge it by the color, confuse it for another
You might regret what you let slip away
like the geek in the pink (do do do...)
I'm the geek in the pink ya'll
geek is the color for fall
i'm the geek in the pink
so i'm the geek ya'll
in the pink ya'll
geek is the color for fall
i'm the geek in the pink

just thought of bloggin:D

2007-11-02T07:29:00.000-07:00

hey hey lets see past few weeks been trying to get a job isnt that easy to get one,
been to number of interviews and still no response and the job i n james almost got in ris calton which ever way u spelled it, its waiter but is kinda suckie and we didnt understand a single word the lady was saying. so tomorrow goin for another interview in woodlands starbucks pavi, prema and i hopefully we get to work together i guess it would be fun.

primary school days

let see i still remember in primary one malay fellow pulled the entire tissue thingy and i was blamed for it cause i was standin there like a idiot n my lame teacher made me stay back n my mum was waitin outside and she came up to the class n the racist bitch complained to my mum for no reason i got scoldin for no reason thinkin back i got punished for no reason!!!! but anyway this is the malay fellow who shit in his pants till primary three hahahah weirdo

i never knew i was so naughty in primary school i got arugument with my indian friend n we fought rollin down in grass
thinkin back is funny

i hated tuff club i would be givin stupid excuses n eating in canteen gaining more weight. one incident i remember would be i almost fainted during national day celebration making us stand under the sun empty stomach sweatin like idoit for a min everythin when blank. i was in sick bed n everythin was normal then
i learn to eat before national day celebration haha

tamil lesson would be the killer for me
i HATED tamil to the core and esp the teacher she made my life a livin hell in primary school i would do anythin to skip tamil class.
i managed to tahan all the wackin and scoldin from her, her sight still pisses me off but i got A for psle for tamil amazingly. i only cried once in primary n that is because of her would NEVER forget the incident.

primary six was the best i miss the entire class n i miss the games we used to play the stupid jokes we used to share and most of the things seem so funny now.
and of cause i miss my best friend marion now studyin in canada but comin back next year for a visit really miss his crap and nonsense have fun celebratin christmas with snow!!!!

prema send me a song i need to put it up at least the first part of the lyrics.

I'm not the type to get my heart broken
I'm not the type to get upset and cry
Cause I never leave my heart open
Never hurts me to say goodbye
Relationships don't get deep to me
Never got the whole in love thing
And someone can say they love me truely
But at the time it didn't mean a thing

2007-10-30T00:28:00.000-07:00

hey hey people sorry guys just wanted to private my blog n realise its aint that easy with so much of work for others. so i cancel sorry for the trouble!!

just wanna make it big someday hahhaha

2007-10-26T22:44:00.000-07:00

Like a warrior that fights
And wins the battle
I know the taste of victory

Though i went through some nights
Consumed by the shadows
And was crippled emotionally

Somehow I made it through the heartace
I escaped
I found my way out of the darkness, kept my faith
Kept my faith

And the river was deep I didn't falter
When the mountain was high
I still believed
When the valley was low
It didn't stop me
I knew you were waiting
Knew you were waiting for me

With and endless desire
I kept on searching
Sure in time our eyes would meet

And like the bridge is on fire
The hurt is over
One touch and you set me free

I don't regret a single moment
Looking back, when I think of all those disappointments
I just laugh, I just laugh

MDIS family partially completed

2007-10-26T22:23:00.000-07:00

MDIS family partially completed

goodbye is the saddest word i gonna hear

2007-10-26T05:08:00.000-07:00

feelin like shit so thought typing might help
doctor said anytime anythin might happen to my mum
as much as i wanna be happy spendin my time with her she finds faults in everythin i do. i dont want her to scold or nagg at me why cant she just be happy and understanding i am tryin my best to be what i can be there r people worst out there again why compare. More then a week keepin things to myself isnt that helpful either n i dont wanna disturb anyone as they got their own problem to take care of so just typin what i feel like. And i dont wanna lose the only one i have, already lost one i cant take it if i am labled orphan. as much as she scolds and nagg i know she loves me too much.. seriously this isnt fair i already lost enough and i am not willing to lose her and stop scoldin me n puttin all the blame on me!
sometime i wish things happen one after another not all at once.
i am not being emo or sad just try being me for once and u will know why am i typin all this shit.
so many things i want it to be mine but it never happens
eventually everyone leaves and is all abt me myself and i that's life
this year so many things happenin and as much i wanna stay strong emotions take over at times. sometime just got to fuck everythin and love is for sure one of that.
i just wanna grow up as soon as possible i wish i can take things very easily but i cant. before any soul out there thinks i am being emo just think of losin your dad when u were young and now losin your mum anytime sonner or later, she just waitin her death and when you think u really fell in love with a person it turns out to be that u were wrong all this while the feelin cannot get any worst so yah.
i know blog goin back to being emo again but i just needed to say it out.
hopin that i feel better but it makes no difference. hahah anyway one thing i learn is never put your emotions before you the entire world can turn against you but at least i know what i seriously wanna do and this is just the begining i am only 17 if i can't face the things happening now life isnt gonna get easier when i am old so yah. somehow all this is makin the person i am now. in the future i believe i would be stronger to face anythin. again i just cant the fact that somethin is gonna happen to my mum other then that i am fine..
hopefully god listens to my prayers and now u guys would know why i suddenly believe in god so much.

when u control your body!!! check it out

2007-10-24T02:19:00.001-07:00

irreplaceable!!

2007-10-22T20:28:00.000-07:00

complications

2007-10-22T08:10:00.001-07:00

after a long thinking seating under the rain i finally know what i do best.
from now start afresh no more being emo or anythin just plan for my future my carrer i wanna earn big bucks in the future!!
after ns i seriously dunno what kind of job i can find all i know i at the end of the day i wanna be a social worker and a busniness man that's a weird abition but i know thats what i seriously wanna do. helpin others and makin them smile makes me happy so let see what future holds for me. and fuck u too people who love makin my simple life hard but at times is me who is causin it to be so hard :(
AND I LOVE GOD finally someone who i can turn to anytime

When Jesus is my portion
A constant friend is He
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches over me
His eye is on the sparrow
And I know He watches me

how mean an individual can get

2007-10-21T05:17:00.000-07:00

after chattin with isk i somehow felt like a stalker so read abt serial killers online and this is one of the worst one yet beyong humanity
the father rapes his daughter not once but twice or more and video tapes it
not only that both the wife n husband killed almost abt 30 people

Investigation, arrest, and conviction

Their only known victim after 1979 was their daughter Heather, who was killed in June 1987 at the age of 16.

In May 1992, West raped his 13-year-old daughter at Cromwell Street and filmed it, and then raped her twice afterwards. She discussed the incident with her brothers and sisters, who told friends at school. In early August, the police decided to investigate, leading to Fred West being charged with 12 counts of murder, with Rose as an accomplice. She was also charged with child cruelty, and the remaining children were placed in foster care.

The rape case against the Wests collapsed when the two main witnesses declined to testify on June 7, 1993. The police obtained a further search warrant in February 1994, allowing them to excavate the garden in search of Heather. They started searching the house and excavating the garden on February 25, 1994. After Fred's arrest, the police uncovered human bones.[5] West confessed, retracted and then re-confessed to the murder of his daughter, denying that Rose was involved. Rose was not arrested until April 1994, initially on sex offences but later charged with murder. Further bodies were found and, on March 4, West admitted nine more murders, including his first wife and Anna McFall.

Fred and Rose West were tried in Gloucester on June 30, 1994. Fred was charged with 11 murders and Rosemary with 10. Immediately afterwards Fred West was arrested on suspicion of murdering Ann McFall, whose body had been found on June 7, 1994. On the evening of July 3, 1994, he was charged with her murder. The following morning he was returned to Winson Green Prison, Birmingham, where he had been held for several weeks before the hearing.

On January 1, 1995, Fred West committed suicide in his cell at Winson Green by hanging himself. His brief funeral was held in Coventry on March 29, 1995. West was cremated with only three of his children present.

The evidence against Rose was circumstantial; unlike her husband, she did not confess. She was tried in October 1995, found guilty of all 10 murders and sentenced to life imprisonment.[6] The trial judge recommended that she should never be released, and 18 months later Home Secretary Jack Straw agreed with this recommendation.

In October 1996 the Wests' house at 25 Cromwell Street was demolished and the site made into a pathway. Every brick was crushed and every timber was burnt to discourage souvenir hunters.

During questioning, Fred West had confessed to killing up to 30 people. Nearly 13 years after his death, police have not identified or discovered any more victims.

dance with my father

2007-10-21T04:54:00.001-07:00

Back when I was a child, before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around 'til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved

If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
How I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He'd make me laugh just to comfort me, yea yea
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me

If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I'd play a song that would never, ever end
'Cause I'd love, love, love
To dance with my father again

Sometimes I'd listen outside her door
And I'd hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me

I know I'm praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don't do it usually
But dear Lord she's dying
To dance with my father again

2007-10-17T05:52:00.000-07:00

hey hey i am sick n tired of bloggin abt the personal issues
hmm so yah daily routine home and hospital hopefully it will end soon ahhaha
friday last paper and not gonna have any form of exams for at least 3 years hahaha finally

hate i really dont like you

2007-10-16T07:05:00.000-07:00

You were everything I wanted.
You were everything a girl could be.
Then you left me brokenhearted,
Now you don't mean a thing to me.
All I wanted was your
Love, love, love, love, love, love.

[Chorus:]
Hate is a strong word,
but i really, really, really don't like you.
Now that it's over
I don't even know what I liked about you.
Brought you around,
and you just brought me down.
Hate is a strong word,
but I really, really, really don't like you.

I really don't like you...

Thought that everything was perfect,
Isn't that how it's supposed to be?
Thought you thought that I was worth it,
Now I think a little differently.
All i wanted was your
Love, love, love, love, love, love.

[Chorus]

Now that it's over,
you can't hurt me.
Now that it's over,
you can't bring me down.

(Oh, oh...)

All i wanted was your
Love, love, love, love, love, love.

[Chorus]

I really don't like you... [3x]

mel and me enjoyin life pavi studyin her behind off

2007-10-12T03:42:00.000-07:00

2007-10-12T03:34:00.000-07:00

No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

2007-10-12T03:32:00.000-07:00

I never felt nothing in the world like this before
Now I'm missing you
& I'm wishing that you would come back through my door
Why did you have to go? You could have let me know
So now I'm all alone,
Girl you could have stayed
but you wouldnt give me a chance
With you not around it's a little bit more then i can stand
And all my tears they keep running down my face
Why did you turn away?

[Bridge]

So why does your pride make you run and hide?
Are you that afraid of me?
But I know it's a lie what you keep inside
This is not how you wanted to be

[Chorus]

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

[Verse 2]

It's been a long time since you called me
(How could you forget about me)
You got me feeling crazy (crazy)
How can you walk away,
Everything stays the same
I just can't do it baby
What will it take to make you come back
Girl I told you what it is & it just ain't like that
Why can't you look at me, your still in love with me
Don't leave me crying.

[Bridge]

Baby why can't we just start over again
Get it back to the way it was
If you give me a chance I can love you right
But your telling me it wont be enough

[Chorus]

So baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

[Bridge]

So why does you pride make you run & hide
Are you that afriad of me?
But I know it's a lie what your keeping inside
Thats not how you wanted to be

Baby I will wait for you
Baby I will wait for you
If it's the last thing i do

[Chorus]

Baby I will wait for you
Cause I don''t know what else i can do
Don't tell me I ran out of time
If it takes the rest of my life

Baby I will wait for you
If you think I'm fine it just aint true
I really need you in my life
No matter what i have to do I'll wait for you

I'll Be Waiting.

Why you're opening up a healing wound again

2007-10-10T05:56:00.000-07:00

hey hey people two paper down n two more to go!
journalism wasnt that bad however pr was a killer big time haha i just wanted to leave the room asap haha a night of not sleepin just went to waste if i knew i would have slept hahah ok enough of nonsense what is done is done so lets pray hard now!! for tvrp n ad not that hectic more days to study so is ok :D

haha after exams over, chalet which i am lookin forward to it!!

summary lead

2007-10-08T02:34:00.000-07:00

eloooooooooo BRAIN FUCKED
studyin made me feel like my nose might bleed anytime weird
restin anyway more worried for pr not yet start anythin yet as for JnB revision done but just goin tru again n again to make sure things!!!

for my loved ones in mdis all the best ppl for tomorrow!!

i am not goin back to studyin soon so here is a brief summary abt the peeps in mdis course gonna end but hopefully does not stop there and yah ns is callin me hahah a short summary n its not emo!!!!

in no particular order

pavi- known u for abt 5years n still counting really do treasue knowin u pavi the insults in secondary sch is not like it stopped but somehow those made me the person i am now so really appreacite alots. from someone who is really quiet before now like someone who noise i think. Cause more of the time if i just dont say anythin ppl just ask what's wrong with me so makes me wonder am i really that noise hahah guess is a good thing now anyway thanks for everythin!!!

iskandar- this fellow lightens up the entire group for sure without him around is like somethin missing!! and of cox he as the gift of music singing and writin songs. wont be surprised if he makes he big sooner or later. what else yah the drownin incident haha kinda made me lose the phobia for the sea but yet wont dare to go in where my leg wont touch the floor n i just realise sorry for e scatches hahahah if u remember. and thanks for listenin like i told u i look up too u man!!1 ok enough of commpliment. but again mixin u ppl i feel like i am growin more then a usual kid in poly would thanks again!!1

sathiya aka lathi- few weeks later we realise we r related weird but yah we r cousins hahah ok that's cool. thanks for everythin la u been thru alot in this few months putin the unwanted memories behind u make a good sis i see my elder sis in u at times i dunno why but yah. someone you can talk to abt anythin n everythin but can be noise at times but that is lathi!!! really thanks for all the lectures made me really think n sharin your life experience. once again thanks!!! u made look at life differently n possibilites man

prema- haha introduction haha i didnt like u remember, u will never forget that right anyway puttin that behind now i really like u a great friend, always bringing out the best in me thanks premi!! treasure knowin u as well even when there is little hope left always askin me to hang on. oh yah remember the chalet is only between us yah n keep it to yourself yah. thanks for listening i made a fool out myself but i still remember what u said that day. again thanks for everythin prema!!!

efa- a person u can approach anythin someone who made me open up always there to listen thanks!!! someone who shares her probs with me as well always introdcin me to new songs which r really nice. someone who said somethin like this if u r not gonna take things easily u r gonna get hurt both physically n mentally those words would never be forgotten!!! again thanks for everythin efa and u too can rap the gift of music giddy giddy right!!!

dinesh- if i say nothin to say abt u i would be lying ahahah thanks for everythin man for listening those advices everything. tellin me abt ns what to expect and hanging out with u late near the mrt station. one more thing u somehow find out everythin man there is nothin to hide anythin from u n u r difinately one of the person i can share anythin n everythin man. again thanks for everythin and mixin with u ppl made me grow up!!! look at things differently

ryan- ppl always callin u bak kua but some reason i dunno why i cant ryan or yong xing hahha u r the one of the few souls love callin my tamil name ariukiam i got no idea why but yah. i always thought i can never mix ppl ard 20 plus but u for sure proved it was wrong.anyway thanks for everythin again n the stupid jokes and oh yah sorry for the slaps man hahahaha take care dude!!!

samantha- u read the essay right that's enough i guess. But thanks again for everythin and yah u r for sure one of the preetiest indian girl i seen so far as much you can be noise at times deep down u r so soft hearted n really caring. and u for sure made me look at life differently n for some reasons all this made me grow up. once again thanks for everythin sam:D

raj- hey hey the bear family yah momma bear papa bear n baby bear still remember the names given to ask my isk.. in the begining of the school anyway of thanks alot man for everythin. miss your mum cookin, miss your grandma who talks to me and yah your dad of cox. everyone got busy with their life anyway once again thanks for everythin for the begining everythin is appreciated

saifudin- most of the time quiet but yah at times he would be playin game but suddenly give his comment on what we r talkin abt funny fellow la dunno when he is listenin and when he is not anyway thanks for everythin saifudin!

ok for those not mention sorry but guys r for sure not forgotten thanks for everythin people hahah ok now i can go study feel peace of mind finally anyway all the best for the upcomin papers guys

god bless
and pls dont say is a emo blog thanks is from the heart n i am distressin!!!!!

nonsense

2007-10-04T10:26:00.000-07:00

i should be studyin but i cant dunno why
some time situation can make a person look like a complain king/queen
sometime ppl intend to force u to do things knowin that u yourself wont do it they try they best to help but at times the help itself is not workin. haha weird it can be there is life u need to help yourself not others helpin u isnt it ok enough of nonsense got to go back to studyin hopefully

gymin actually works

2007-10-04T10:16:00.000-07:00

week8

week 4

week 0

ok now it does not look like my blog anymore anyway is iskandar
this shows gym actually works from the start till now so much have been changed so should follow in his shoes man. i seen the change for myself so is time for me to work out as well i guess if he can do it so can i :D

birthday wishes

2007-10-02T21:34:00.000-07:00

happy birthday to my beloved sis the only pic i can find in my pc taken during her wedding.

3 people's birthday today wish them all the best in life
my sis
pavi's bro
my uncle

ok i kinda miss school
i dunno why all the crap the laughter have been missed
exams coming but i can't bring myself to study
been sleepin like a pig now days 13 hours of sleep per day and yet i feel sleepy at times somethings really wrong now.
whatever it is anthony u got to start studying just 4 papers u can do it is nothing compared to o's!!!!

long weekend

2007-10-01T22:15:00.000-07:00

been a long weekend haha
friday hang out till 1 am in the morning not in the situation to say where is it but
got reality check was telling prema people DO anythin for money
like prema said when there is beauty there is whole lot of crap as well.
really ate alot on friday didnt end there monday again ate like pig in gayathri rest
my elder sis almost made a fool out of me she gave me the bill and asked me to pay even the cashier started laughin cause is obvious i can't pay at the moment.
after that brother in law drove us back as usual elder sis was being clumsy she blasted tamil songs. there was this part saying bow down to me and she brought her leg up n nathen pull she scream like no body's business. they been livin together for 6 years, they define loving couple glad to see them happy.
then today had pizza and kfc for lunch wonder how much weight i have been gaining exams ard the corner n too lazy to start studying!!!
19 and exams over. oh yah before i forget advance birthday wishes for my elder sis finally she turning 22 growing old ah hahahah. u r always loved HAPPY BIRTHDAY

weirdly i am happy and hyper

2007-09-29T07:36:00.000-07:00

i should feel emoo and sad
somehow i feel happy and relived
hahahha got no idea why but feelin really hyper la
hahahahhah
hahahha
what is e point of of being sad all the time
when there so much other reasons to be happy abt :D
i wanna work in spca!!!!
animals are something that shows u love and never hurt u in any form of ways
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
maybe i was an animal in my past life hahaha
hahahahahah
hahahah
hahahahha
haha
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!

i'm indian

2007-09-22T08:49:00.000-07:00

the first tamil song which made real sense to me
if u know tamil u would know e meanin of it

Oru thadavai solvaayaa?
Unnai yenakku pidikkum endru
Oru paarvai paarppaayaa?
Unnai yenakku pidikkum endru

Kaadhal oru pugai pola
Maraitthu vaitthaal therinthu vidum
Kaadhalilthaan pookkal moadhi
Malaigal kooda oodainthu vidum
Unnai olikkaathae
Yennai vathaikkaathae
Endrum idhayathil ilakkanam kidaiyaathae

Nathiyil theriyum nilavin ooruvam
Nathikku sontham illai
Ninaipathellaam nadakkum vaazhkai
Yaarukkum amaivathillai

Oonakkum yenakkum vizhunthe mudichu
Thaanaay vizhunthathillai
Ulaga urundai udaiyumpoadhum
Kaadhal oodaivathillai

Minmini dhaesatthu sonthakaaran
Vinmeen kaetpatthu thavaraagum

Varalaattril vaazhgindra kaadhal ellaam
Valiyoadu poraadum kaadhalthaanae

Nerunga ninaikkum ninaivai marakka
Nenjam ninaikkirathu
Kanavil pookkum pookkal parikka
Pennmai azhaikkirathu

Kilaiyai muritthu poattu vidalaam
Vaerai enna seiyvaay?
Tharayai udaitthu mulikkumbodhu
Anbae engu selvaay?

Malligai pookkal uthirvathellaam
Maratthadi nizhalukku sontham illai

Unnoda naan vaazha poaraaduvaen
Nee indru poanaaloa thallaaduvaen

happy

2007-09-21T20:15:00.000-07:00

HAPPY
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what is love

2007-09-21T07:58:00.000-07:00

i feel fuckin stupid did too much but wad is done is done
someone whom you love so much yet they say they can never love you back due to alot of reasons and end up hurtin yourself not only mentally but physically as well to the point of self hatred .
OR someone who really loves you for who u are for almost more then a year? treat you like the best person they ever know and cherish every moment spend with you.
someone who makes you feel really loved
after so much of hurt there is a form of medication
i feel bad that i am just using you
am i?
would u have someone who loves you like crazy
or someone whom you love n u know for sure is not gonna work out
there is a point when love can turn into hatred i always thought it wasn't possible but now i guess i was wrong
let see what is fated
anyway what is love?

never felt better

2007-09-19T07:08:00.000-07:00

most of my blogging is all emo
i am always talkin abt the unhappiness event in my life
for once let it be the other way around.
i have family which cares
my mum shows me love even tho at times she can be really unreasonable
but lookin at her she sets a role model to me for someone to lose her husband at the age 31 and remain single for her children her entire life. And worked and worked uptill she fall sick just to give us the best. now i feel bad arguing with her at times but that's normal happens everywhere. she tries her best to give us the best but at times it dosen't work.
i have a really supportive elder sis
loving aunties
lovely cousins
cute nephews and niece
a very loving pet
and of course great group of friends
life isn't that bad after all.
lathi thanks man talkin to u made me realise alot of things
like u said what is the point of loving someone who don't deserve it at all
hey u could have said whatever u said that day earlier but never mind is not too late as well.
just concerntrating at one thing and u don't get it
and u result in hating everythin for that is really stupid
fucking stupid
n i feel stupid for that reason

but now
lookin at life the positive way :D

it is wrong but yet it feels so right

2007-09-17T05:33:00.000-07:00

so many things is wrong yet it feels so right
for example cutting it feels so stupid after doin it but
when u r lone with so much of thoughts running through your head
it feels so right at the point of time cause the thoughts hurt more then the knife.

remembering every moment when the other don't even care
is wrong or i shall i say stupid but yet it feels right

thinkin abt the person and sobbin over them
is wrong but yet it feels right

loving the someone knowing is never gonna work out
is wrong but yet it feels so right

treating a special someone like your world and u don't mind doin anythin for them
is wrong but yet it feels right

knowing u r treated like trash u just can't never give up cause practically the person is a part of you
is wrong but yet it feels right

hurtin yourself for the one u love
is wrong but it feels right

u just wanna tell the person how much they mean to u and how much u love them
u know is so right to do yet it feels so wrong

am i just lying to myself ?
if only i could

And girl you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Girl use your mind
Don't be just another dime

u r Beautiful not just for show

one man's trash is another man's treasure :D

everythin feels so wrong yet right

loneliness

2007-09-15T07:20:00.000-07:00

there so much we can say here

basically we stayed up in IS house to do up the editin for Tvrp everything went really well i guess the finale scene was really good so let see how the outcome is on monday. just had few hours of sleep n my eyes r dying on me.
today officially i realise i can't never hide anythin at least one person will find out abt it eventually but i was really glad the person never ask me
anythin cause i seriously don't have an answer for whatever u gonna ask :D.

i seriously miss the begining of sch
the phone calls
the little bit of hope
knowing somethin good or bad might happen
but eventually it landed up at the bad side
promise was broken
or maybe u seek perfection
whatever it is glad everythin as ended
even tho is nt wad i really expected
i am happy :D

if only
i am not me i think all this wouldn't have happen
i could have just shut the fuckin mouth of mine
or if only i am better with my words
or if only i am basically not me............
but at times pls do think before u say something yah
i am not immune yet goin to be soon.........
puttin all your bad points together
i try my best to hate u
but i can't
what i see in u?
u might say the most worst things at time without realising it
but i seriously dunno hw to react to it lol

but now finally i am happy with everythin.
everythin is not what i expected again but somethin better...
that's fate i guess!!!!
ALL as been HEALED

HAPPY!!!!!

justin guarini's i saw your face!

It was just another day like the day before
I was walking in the rain with a lonely heart
Wudn't looking for a change
Wudn't looking for a girl
Wudn't looking for a thing
I was cool inside my world

But you were standing there
Looking outstanding there

I was fallin', I was fallin', I was fallin', for you girl

I saw your face and wanted to see if I could get your name, yeah
I saw your face and I can't believe I found a miracle
You're so beautiful

I saw your legs, your thighs
Baby, lookin' right
I can't believe my eyes
I saw your face and baby you know, I found a miracle
You're so beautiful

Now I'm all up in a daze don't know what to do
Everything is out of place since I saw you
There's just gotta be a way
Must be something I can do
Baby girl, how can I get close to you

Baby, you're so beautiful, yeah
I guess I knew it from the moment that I saw you
Girl, there was nothing I could do, baby
I started falling from the second that I saw you
Now I just wanna, I just wanna be close to you

?

2007-09-12T07:11:00.000-07:00

There will always be someone who will say
Something bad to make them feel great because
People are all the same
And we only get judged by what we do
Personality reflects name,
Everybody talks bad about somebody and
never realises how it affects somebody and
you bet it won't be forgotten
Envy is the only thing it could be

conversation between mel,pavi,nuh and me

2007-09-09T02:24:00.000-07:00

conversation between pavi,nuh,mel and me
mel to nuh
M: hey nuh what will u do if u find out the girl u really like, like another girl and she is not straight?
Nuh: I would run away
Mel: would u still like her?
Nuh: hell no she likes girls
Mel: hahahah

ant to mel
Ant: hey mel what will u do if u find out the guy u like turn out to be not straight
Mel: eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
still got lot more but too lazy to type it out

love as no boundaries hahahah
waitin for
IMC"S production

super funny man

already lost a friend
losing another won't make a different i guess

hey my emo blog haha

2007-09-08T10:05:00.000-07:00

alright before i start
why u tryin to stuck up too him too much man
4 people notice n finally i noticed as well
weird but what the hell all the best with that :D

now goin on to what happen today
efa performed really well u did great pal
pavitra's very special day today
seriously i am very happy for her
i almost reach home at 1am
had fun:D

i'm not jealous no i am not
i just want everything he got

2007-09-06T05:10:00.000-07:00

FUCK

what goes around come around how true can it get man

No te quiere como yo

2007-09-04T06:20:00.000-07:00

When I first saw you
I said O My
That's a dream
That's my dream
I needed a dream
When it all seemed to go bad
Then I found you
And I have had the most beautiful dreams any mans ever had

And girl you're just way too fine
Gotta be treated as one of a kind
Girl use your mind
Don't be just another dime
Because
I can't take
Seeing you with him
Cuz I know exactly what you'll be,
In his gallery
It's just not fair
And it's tearing me apart
You're just another priceless work of art
In his gallery
You're a masterpiece
I know that he
Can't appreciate your beauty
Don't let him cheapen you
He don't see you like i do
Beautiful not just for show
Time that someone let you know

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
And in a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

In the back of my mind
I can't help but question
is it worth so much?

All the songs put together

blades

2007-08-31T07:12:00.000-07:00

emo or not just felt like typin this out

do i need anymore reasons for the blade to go through my skin

got to watch dead silence soon!!!

GOIN SILENT WOULD BE THE BEST SOLUTION

2007-08-26T07:15:00.000-07:00

is kinda suckie
not to get whatever you want isn't it
sometime i feel like i am seriously doing too much and expecting the same is not reality.

i guess is e same everywhere

i ate frog!!!

Forgiveness is such a simple word but it's so hard to do when you've been hurt

2007-08-25T21:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I think about you
Wonder if you're out there somewhere thinking bout me
And would you even recognize
The men that your little boy has grown up to be
Cause I look in the mirror and all I see
Are your eyes looking back at me
They're the only thing you ever gave to me at all

Oh, I hear the weather's nice in where ever you are
There's sunny skies as far I can see
If you ever come back home
I wonder what you'd say to me

I think about how it ain't fair
where u weren't there to teach me swimming and cycling
Like fathers do
You weren't around to cheer me on
You weren't there to solve the problems
Like fathers do
Did you think I didn't need you here
To hold my hand
To dry my tears
Did you even miss me through the years at all

Forgiveness is such a simple word
But it's so hard to do when you've been hurt

if only i am immune

2007-08-24T08:25:00.001-07:00

The way I feel about myself cuz I have self-esteem,
Sometimes I wonder if I'm just chasing a fantasy

how i wish i can be immune to words
life word be so much better.

Today basically got my results back nothing great
BUT i am happy that i passed
C for HMC
B for SBS
B for TDMC
C for TPSW

then when back home as usual brother in law forget the video cam so met my sis and when over to get it and yah saw
the cutest person alive lithya haha she made my day
a hug from her is all i needed.
Now that we got the camera is time to finsh off the script and start shooting....

so much i am not saying
even tho i want too

Did you think that I was gonna give it up to you,
Did you think that it was somethin I was gonna do and cry
Don't try to tell me what to do,
Dont try to tell me what to say,
Your better off that way

welcome to my life

2007-08-23T19:47:00.000-07:00

Do you ever feel like breaking down?
Do you ever feel out of place?
Like somehow you just don't belong
And no one understands you
Do you ever wanna runaway?
Do you lock yourself in your room?
With the radio on turned up so loud
That no one hears you screaming

No you don't know what it's like
When nothing feels all right
You don't know what it's like
To be like me

To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life

Do you wanna be somebody else?
Are you sick of feeling so left out?
Are you desperate to find something more?
Before your life is over
Are you stuck inside a world you hate?
Are you sick of everyone around?
With their big fake smiles and stupid lies
While deep inside you're bleeding

No one ever lied straight to your face
No one ever stabbed you in the back
You might think I'm happy but I'm not gonna be okay
Everybody always gave you what you wanted
Never had to work it was always there
You don't know what it's like, what it's like
To me like me

THOUGHTS

2007-08-21T07:10:00.000-07:00

ME AND EFA

I wanna run just as fast as I can
To the middle of nowhere
To the middle of my frustrated fears.

just a random thought that came up
how true is it people just contact each another for a specific gain if not you are forgotten in their life.
weird isn't it but i guess that's life sometime u r needed but most of the time u r forgotten.
not blaming anyone but that's life everyone as their own agenda.
past few days
have been doin alot of thinking and this strike me.
i so badly want all this to leave my head as soon as possible why am i thinking so much? i wanna be how i was in secondary school no doubt life was harder but never thought about so many things in a day but is it called growing up?
another thing i always wonder how is it to growing up with both your parents(mum and dad)...

jealousy?

thoughts can cut

2007-08-20T07:12:00.000-07:00

hmmm today left early from school when to interview in toa pa yeo lathi followed cause she work there before but sadly got the work that means from next week onwards i got to work almost everyday which means i got no life but got money so guess is a good bargain.

somethings are so easier said then done.
when you think you are close to a person but the actual fact is u don't known them well enough at all weird isn't it.
learn somethin new
is all about me, myself and I.
i seriously don't know what is reality and what is not at times.
enough of slits and pain for the time being hopefully.

Log Kehte Hai Paagal Hoon Main Yeh Bhi Na Jaanu
Dil Lutaya Hai Maine Ab Kisi Ki Na Maanu
Chain Dekar Ke Maine Bechainiya Yeh Li Hai
Neende Udakar Ke Maine Tumse Wafaye Ki Hai
Kasam Ki Kasam Hai Kasam Se
Jee Rahe The Hum Tere Dum Se
Ab Yeh Pyaar Na Hoga Phir Humse
Kasam Ki Kasam Hai Kasam Se
Humko Pyaar Hai Sirf Tumse

YO MOMMA

2007-08-19T05:03:00.000-07:00

Yo momma so fat she went bungee jumping and went strait to hell!

Yo momma so fat shes on both side of the family.

Yo momma so fat when she walks around in Texas in high heels, she strikes oil!

Yo momma so fat, the last time she saw 90210 was on the scale

Yo momma so fat she stepped on a rainbow and made Skittles.

Yo momma so fat she uses a mattress for a tampon.

Yo momma so fat she hoola-hooped the super bowl.

Yo momma so fat they tie a rope around her shoulders and drag her through a tunnel when they want to clean it.

Yo momma so fat when she got hit by a bus, she said, "Who threw that rock?"

Yo momma so fat when she stands in a left-turn lane it gives her the green arrow!

Yo momma so old she's in Jesus's yearbook!

Yo momma so old she has a picture of Moses in her yearbook.

Yo momma so old her birth certificate says expired on it.

Yo momma so old she knew Burger King while he was still a prince.

Yo momma so old she was a waitress at the Last Supper.

Yo momma so old she ran track with dinosaurs.

Yo momma so old even God calls her mother

2007-08-18T05:39:00.000-07:00

pavi and me

hole in the tongue

angels in diguise

sick

2007-08-18T00:09:00.000-07:00

feeling sick
early morning woke up
when to work on the way got really drench in the rain.after about an hour later reach the work place bukit timah courts
firslty the courts was huge and the air corn was a killer.
i started shivering and yah the people workin there were really old felt like i was in a old folks home. i started sneezing and yah got fever as usual and was asked to go home early. and yah i am at home now think gonna sleep soon man....
hopefully by monday i am fine.. basically this is what happen today

OVER YOU
Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me

just saw this random thing which made real sense to me

2007-08-16T07:15:00.000-07:00

Never win first place, I don't support the team
I can't take direction, and my socks are never clean
I was always in a fight 'cause I can't do nothin'right
Everyday I fight a war against the mirror
I can't take the person staring back at me 'cause I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself, so irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more, I wanna be somebody else
I wanna be somebody else, yeah
So doctor, doctor, won't you please prescribe me something? A day in the life of someone else 'cause I'm a hazard to myself
Don't let me get me
I'm my own worst enemy
It's bad when you annoy yourself
So irritating
Don't wanna be my friend no more
I wanna be somebody else

push over ?

2007-08-15T05:23:00.000-07:00

alrighty i didn't know it would have made such a big impact but all i can say is sorry like i said it wasn't meant to hurt anyone. But if u realised your reply to it was worst then what i even wrote so yah let see why i am not making it a big issue cause i am simply not bothered. you can say whatever you want cause is your blog so yah. sometime i got to blame myself also why am i so stupid to type all this out yah i am finding for trouble for no reason. but what is done is done so let see what is gonna happen one person to blame me!! ok emo part over

today pavi got her first tatoo but it was really cool but thinking a tatoo would be there forever just in the future u r gonna hate it or something u still got to spend money n pain to get rid of the tatoo and the other reason i got to go to ns next year so i rather stay away from tatoos first. dinesh tatoo was really nice but can tell it hurt like fuck because of his facial expression.
or yah lacheemi and pavi mum also got tatoo four people gettin tatoo on the same day preety cool ah. maybe after my ns i SHOULD get a tatooo i guess.
PS: lookin forward to christmas 4 more months hahah

funny shit should check out miss swan
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lF4RyB50Xus

things which can't be said at times

2007-08-14T04:14:00.000-07:00

emo blog hahah ok here is something which is really cool and happy ok.

anyway a number of things happen so far, i got myself a phone and a line so bye to prepaid and confiscating of the phone... she is trying her best to ignore him but deep down inside her she cares abt him so much but i am glad that she is being the old her happy for her. today i lost the true and dare and got punched from let see how many people pavi,lathi,sam,saifu,raj,is and dinesh not bad la my hand when numb after few punches unluckie me but is all in the game haha. Then yah we played badminton during the break but now only i realised that i lost every game but it was fun as usual.

less then 4 months and SOOO many things have happen but one thing for sure gonna miss the entire group like hell. But that happens everywhere primary school 6 years and it was over and secondary school 4 years now it was over n now mdis for 8 months and yes is gonna end as well but learn alot in this few months some really wonderful memories meant to be kept and some really disturbing issues and live shows meant to be deleted from my mind. next stop would be NS(national service) and let see what it brings i dunno why weirdly i am lookin forward to ns.....

PS: i need to say this if not it will be in my head for sure

wow u blog about me

firstly if there was love in your situation why she was attach not with u to some other person it shows that u were just a subsitute for the time being n u call this love u frankly insulting the word in this case. you can say million and one things to make your part of the story right but wake up accept the fake that u r wrong cause NOW she is not with u like u said u r easy as a delete button is there was love it wouldn't have been so easy on her yah so i need to say again is KARMA!!! but in your case u got your hope build up n crush but keep your fingers cross u may never know what future brings for u right but whatever wish u all the best with this entire not straight thingy guess god will be proud ok that's really mean but sorry if u r reading this just saying what's on my mind.

For me i am SO OVER IT trust me you just a very good friend of mine and nothing more and yah really like making fun of you at times haha really funny la. i prefer this entire friendship thingy better it so much fun la n do ignore the PS part cause i just needed to type that hahah not meant to hurt or bring back memories.

friendship and it shall stop there

sports n gym

2007-08-11T21:01:00.000-07:00

They define friendship :D

Just so you know

2007-08-11T06:00:00.000-07:00

my morning was really bad but why would i wanna spoil my night but thinking back what happen... by shouting, nagging n bitching who is the one gonna die early not me right. anyway a day without badminton or any sports activity got me lazy but will recharge on monday... currently got no hp with me but monday gonna get a line and hp then let see who is gonna take away my charger or phone... if only i can leave my house n support myself life would be 100 times better i am not sad or emo about all this cause i am simply not bothered n i am so immune to all this... anyway nights people that's all for today

NEVER THOUGHT FORGETTING WAS SO HARD TO DO

1.I shouldn't love you but I want to

2.I shouldn't see you but I can't move I can't look away

3.It's getting hard to be around you there's so much I can't say

4. I don't know how to be fine when I'm not'

5.I don't know how to make a feeling stop

So much to say that goes unspoken

2007-08-10T21:08:00.000-07:00

sometimes i wonder why is it so hard at times. everyone one have parents and some are like me single parent with just a mum. But sadly she is not like other mums my sis turn bad because of her if she continuing doin this to me i might end up worst then my sis come on mum wake we are all growing up we are no longer your small kids. for once try understanding something which u never did from the start. all this not only hurting u but it does hurt deep down inside u know when people out there don't have to suffer so much at home. most people would be happy to come back home but for me home will be the last place i would rather be cause i just can't stand another day fighting with u. what were u saying in the morning because of me dad passed away isn't it so what can i do did i ask u to give birth to me in the first place no it was your wish now stop blaming me for some indian astrology things yah. u said i murdered a man which i don't even remember talkin to or i don't even know hw he looks only seen him in pictures if dad was a life would all this happen? but anyway i have no idea how alife would be with a dad cause never grown up with one. for god christ sake stop blaming me for your lost. i wanted to work to support myself told u about a week already but today when i am getting ready to go to work u started saying i can't leave the house blur blur n u even lock the gate come on how long can u stop me!! i seriously don't understand even tho i try my best to.. first all this happen to my elder sis now is happening to me when u r old and rotting at home no one is gonna bother that's when u gonna realise your mistakes? like i said before i am no longer a kid i am growing up n let me grow up stop controling me!!! all this just makes me hate u more each day

2007-08-10T05:51:00.000-07:00

alrighty tomorrow start of a new job in bukit timah courts only during weekends hopefully i can manage. let see what happens tomorrow anyway today was a really interesting day :D

2007-08-09T06:40:00.001-07:00

daddy's little girl by frankie j
really nice song

He drops his suitcase by the door
She knows her daddy won't be back anymore
She drags her feet across the floor
Tryna hold back time to keep him holding on
And she says

Daddy Daddy don't leave
I'll do anything to keep you
Right here with me
Can't you see how much I need you

Daddy Daddy don't leave
Mommy's saying things she don't mean
She don't know what she's talking about
Somebody hear me out

Father listen
Tell him that he's got a home and he don't have to go
Father save him
I would do anything in return
I'll clean my room
Try hard in school
I'll be good I promise you
Father, FatherI pray to you

Now she hasn't slept in weeks
She don't want to close her eyes cause she's scared that he'll leave
They tried just about everything
It's getting harder now
For him to breathe
And she says

Daddy Daddy don't leave
I'll do anything to keep you
Right here with me
Can't you see how much I need you

Daddy Daddy don't leave
The doctors are saying things they told me
They don't know what they talking about
Somebody hear me out

Please don't let him go (don't let him go)
I'm begging you so (I'm begging you so)
There open his eyes
There ain't no more time
To tell him that I love him more
The many thing in the world
Is Daddy's little girl

Watch the video

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B1aHlS_bThM

Emo not

2007-08-09T02:13:00.000-07:00

Somethings meant to happen

in the begining everythin seemed so nice but when time passed by people eventually started showing their true colours and thinking back how much i respected u is not worth it at all but again i only known u for months so yah what the hell u r just another casual friend i guess. But the best part is u been replaced with another 2 person who are so much better and i believe they wouldn't never turn out to be like u.

the incident which made me look like a fool. even tho i had my own probs at hm i wasted my time waitin for u and comforting the person who assume that u have hurt her but when things got better between u 2 your first line was can u ask anthony to leave first that is the time when i thought why must i bother so much when u don't even care so yah decided to back out from your life.

learn alot in this few months and realise that people who are really nice at the start might turn out to be the least respectful person at the end. anyway missing out another point are u really sexually deprived i guess so..... i don't know why i am sayin all this but just felt like

ok now going back to the girl i liked in the begining if u read this just to let u know there is no more feelings left and i seriously think u r not worth so much how stupid i might have been to think u were the one i guess i wasn't me at the start...

one more thing i got no idea how a person u known for weeks can affect u so much emotionally and sadly u got rejected isn't it felt the pain? that's what i felt at the start but no longer feeling any now thinking abt all this how true is karma at times yah.. i didn't type all this to hurt anyone just felt like sayin whatever was on my mind.. oh yah if u think i hate u now i don't u r still my friend :D that's all for now peeps take care will say more when i have the time....

and god bless pavi to stand by me even tho i might nt be the best person she knows, she is the best person i ever known thanks alot for everythin yah n really sorry for the hard times at the start but now i hope i change for the best!!!

the end

First Timer

2007-08-09T01:53:00.000-07:00

Just decided to create a blog so in days to come will update futher